


On Sexuality (And The History Of)

by Flamingbluepanda



Series: On the (Not So) Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known [2]
Category: The Old Guard (Comics), The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Asexuality, Character Study, Cuddling, Drunkeness, Families of Choice, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Introspection, Queer Theory, Sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:42:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25871557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flamingbluepanda/pseuds/Flamingbluepanda
Summary: A drunken night in montenegro leads to some deep conversations and more than one coming out
Relationships: Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: On the (Not So) Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877365
Comments: 22
Kudos: 296





	On Sexuality (And The History Of)

**Author's Note:**

> Im a fucking mess and this week hasn't been great so here, take some fluff. This is a whole ass series now! Ive got three other fic ideas at least and they're all very fluffy 
> 
> (don't worry y'all will get your angst)
> 
> Dedicated to the ace squad over on the old guard discord.

Nile had never… been interested, really. In the whole sex thing. Her first boyfriend at age 16 had thought she was, and  _ that  _ hadn’t ended well. A few messy kisses with Dizzy and Jay had borne no results. And even now, as an immortal, she felt herself getting tense every time Andy or Joe teased her about someone eyeing her up in a bar.

There was a word for it. She knew the word. She was terrified of the word. 

They were in Montenegro, a fancier safehouse with a huge balcony overlooking a mountain view. There was a bottle of vodka being passed between them and the four immortals were pleasantly buzzed. Joe was pressed up against Nicky’s side, giggling each time Nicky muttered something to him in Arabic, and Andy was stretched out on the floor, humming loudly to a song playing on the radio. 

Nile was staring at her glass, too tense for someone half drunk, and suddenly she blurted “did you always know you were gay?” 

Andy stopped singing, and Joe and Nicky both fell silent. For a long moment Nile was terrified she offended them, but then Nicky shrugged and said “I’m not gay, so.”

“You  _ lied _ to me!” Joe accused dramatically, and Nile burst into helpless giggles. Andy rolled her eyes and Nicky grinned. 

“Why are you asking, Nile?” Joe asked, genuinely curious. Nile’s hesitation must’ve shown on her face because Joe immediately turned his gaze back to the glass in his hands. “Well,  _ I  _ always knew.” 

Nile had that look again, the open one where she was desperate to know more. Joe smiled obligingly. “I told you I was engaged to be married? Well, part of the reason my parents were so dead set was because they  _ knew,  _ everyone knew. I was always a bit… different, I guess would be the best way to say it. My father thought a childhood of schooling and hard work as a merchant would set me straight-“

Nicky giggled, and Joe rolled his eyes. “Pun not intended.”

“So they were just going to marry you off even though you weren’t happy?” Nile frowned “that’s shitty.” 

“It  _ was _ the 11th century, Nile,” Joe sighed, “being homosexual wasn’t…  _ illegal,  _ not the way your thinking, but without being rich and successful there was no way to build a life with a man without getting questioned, not in my culture.” 

His eyes looked a million miles away, and Nicky put a hand on his back, drawing him out of his memories. Joe shuddered and didn’t look at anyone. “When I told my family I was going to join the war, my father said that I must come back as a man, or not come back at all.” 

Nicky made a pained noise, and Joe finally snapped out of it, smiling a little. “He didn’t mean it in a bad way, honest. He knew I would never be happy with a wife- the crusades were my way out. If he knew the extent to wish I fulfilled his wishes, he probably would’ve eaten his prayer mat.” 

That sparked a laugh from Nicky, and Nile glanced at him. “Alright chuckles, what about you?” 

“Mm, my story is similar to Joe’s,” Nicky said, shifting closer to his husband. “I knew from a very young age that I was never going to wed. The difference is that I thought that was the Lord’s way of telling me I was meant for service. I don’t think of myself as gay or straight or anything, because it just never occurred to me to label it.” 

Nile nodded- she knew Nicky had been a priest. “So you went straight from seminary to the crusades?”

“I had a parish for a while,” Nicolo shrugged, “considered taking a wife a few times, had a few people,” he coughed awkwardly,  _ “offer,  _ but I said no, I was saving myself for God.” 

He turned his gaze on Joe with an expression so painstakingly in love that Nile thought either she or Joe would melt. “In reality, I was waiting for something far more blessed.” 

Joe’s smile lit up the entire mountainside, and he quickly stole a kiss, then two. He went in for a third before Andy snorted loudly. 

“You people are your weird obsession with gender and god,” she scoffed, “none of that shit used to matter. You felt good, you lived life, that was how it was. If someone gave a rats ass, you stabbed them. Plain and simple.”

“Ah yes, the good old days, when  _ murder  _ was  _ legal.”  _ Joe snarked, and Andy flipped him the bird.

Nile felt that strange ball of tension in her chest again, and swallowed before she said “what if someone doesn’t wanna have sex at all?” 

Silence. Dead silence. And then Andy sat upright, looked at Nile with fire in her eyes and said, fiercely; “If you don’t want to do something, you don’t do it. End of story, kill anyone who says otherwise.”

“Seconded,” Joe nodded resolutely, and Nicky nodded along. “Third-ed.”

Nile beamed at them, warm and happy. “You guys are the best family ever.” 

“I’ll drink to that,” Nicky said, cheering with Joe and downing the contents of his cup. Nile laughed at them. 

Andy was oddly silent, and then quietly she said “Quynh…”

Nile froze, Joe and Nicky froze, the balcony suddenly got colder. Andy was staring out into the mountains, looking at nothing. Her lips twitched up into a smile- the type Nile rarely saw on her, something soft and sweet and infinitely sad.

“Quynh didn’t like sex either.” Andy’s smile grew a little wider “she- she was far more satisfied by a good fight or a warm meal. She was more than happy to offer a hand-“ the smile grew into a smirk “or a mouth, but never… never for herself. I felt guilty at first but then it just… it became how we loved.” 

Nile clambered from her seat to fall to her knees and hug Andy tightly. 

“I’m glad you loved her,” Nile sniffed, emotional, “I’m glad you- I’m glad she found you.

She thought of boyfriends yelling at her for not putting out, of Jay quietly telling her and Dizzy about the girlfriends who didn’t listen when they said they were ace, of Dizzy’s fumbling kisses as she tried to deal with being away from her controlling parents for the first time. 

Nile felt the boys join the hug and squeezed Andy tighter. 

“I’m ace, guys.” 

Nicky kissed her head, and suddenly, it didn’t feel so scary anymore. 

(“What about Booker?” She asked five drinks later, drunk as a skunk and slurring.

Joe was passed out, but Nicky waved a vague hand, “a few drunken handjobs over the years but he insists he’s straight. Every ten years or so he goes out to a gay bar to test the waters, but he hasn’t found anyone of interest yet.”

“Ah,” Nile says, nodding until the room tilts)

(They all wake up hungover the next morning but it’s  _ so  _ worth it)

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is, as always, www.flamingbluepanda.tumblr.com
> 
> byeeeeeeeeee i love you


End file.
